


The Coronation of King Samuel

by dottieapple



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Captain America Sam Wilson, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottieapple/pseuds/dottieapple
Summary: Sam Wilson, the new Captain America, gets way more than he bargained for when visiting the Sword in the Stone at Disneyland with Steve, Bucky, and Thor.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	The Coronation of King Samuel

**Author's Note:**

> The news prompted me to write this. Some "burly guy", named Sam, pulled the sword out of its stone at Disneyland in California. You can read the [whole ridiculous story here.](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7905217/Burly-Disneyland-guest-BREAKS-Excalibur-trying-pull-sword-stone.html)
> 
> I then tweeted about which Avenger pulled the sword out on their trip: Sam, Steve, Bucky, or Thor? Since the original perpetrator of the deed was named Sam, I stuck with that. 
> 
> _Me: "I'm gonna write a short fic about this, like 750 words max."  
>  Also Me: *writes like 2.5k words anyway*_
> 
> Prepare for maximum silliness, unbeta'd, but skimmed by me at least twice for minimal mistakes. I've never been to any Disney park. This is a fantasy about Fantasyland. Enjoy!

Thor, Steve, and Bucky stood stock-still, united in what seemed like a shared gasp. 

A shutter-click noise emitted from the StarkPhone of a random tourist. 

Sam looked down at the golden anvil, now standing empty in the tastefully landscaped planter at the happiest place in southern California. He then raised his eyes to the brassy-colored hilt he clutched in his hands, the silvery blade pointed outward toward his Avenger friends. 

“Oh shit,” Sam cursed aloud, but not so loud that the children nearby, whose mouths were open in perfect ‘O’s of stunned silence, could hear him. Regardless of this, Steve shot him a look. 

It all began innocently enough, with Steve and Bucky mugging for pictures as they tried to lift the sword from its stone, just like in Arthurian legend. Of course, Steve and Bucky had been huge childhood fans of the stories of King Arthur, Merlin, and the Knights of the Round Table--back when Disney only dreamed of making animated movies about such things.

Thor could have pulled the prop from the iron anvil one-handed, but he pointed out he was not about to take ownership of another king’s realm, let alone one he had just discovered that morning. 

More electronic shutter-clicks went off. A couple of people were obviously starting videos. Sam prayed this wasn’t going live. This wasn’t the kind of thing that was supposed to happen here. A harried and shocked-looking Disneyland park employee in a tastefully crisp polo shirt was obviously holding in her panic. 

Sam looked once again to the sword in his hands, then looked up to realize everyone was watching. He smiled his best  _ Captain America: He’s Just Like You Civilians! _ smile with teeth clenched tight.   
  
“FRIEND SAMUEL! HUZZAH!” cheered Thor. All of Fantasyland could probably hear him. He clapped Sam on the back.

Sam winced, then stared, still stupefied by the broadsword he held in a vice-like grip.

Thor peered down at the plaque next to the golden anvil, assessing. "According to this inscription, you are now king of this land! Are you not proud, Friend Samuel? Surely you must be worthy.” Thor scratches thoughtfully at his beard. “I mean, not nearly as worthy as hefting the mighty Mjolnir, of course, but this does seem to be a formidable feat which you’ve accomplished.” 

Sam was about to ask for Steve’s opinion on whether Thor was serious when he noticed the park employee,  _ no _ ,  _ Cast Member _ , had collected a small circle of other Cast Members around her. They whispered to each other in a huddle, and while the three in Hawaiian shirts continued to scribble at something on a clipboard, the tallest one, dressed as a Medieval shopkeep, was muttering into an earpiece. The first Cast Member in her squeaky-clean polo rushed over to the crowd.    
  
“Loyal subjects of the Magic Kingdom, uh,” she wrung her hands, “please do not be dismayed. We must, um, consult with the High Counsel of the Round Table, and we’ll be right with you.” She nervously motioned for Sam to come speak with her. Sam looked to Steve and Bucky, who were snickering at each other. 

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break the--” Sam started to the woman.  _ Jennie _ , read her nametag.

She bounced up on her toes, her hands shoved into her pockets. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you, Captain!” Jennie’s voice shifted to a higher register as she greeted him, then slid back down as she addressed the situation. “So, um, the sword? Isn’t really supposed to come out of the stone? Unless it’s one of the showtimes and our Merlin is here doing his magic.” 

“I know, Jennie,” Sam shook his head slowly, trying to offer her the sword. “It’s actually not my first time here. We had the Wilson Family Reunion here about six years ago and--”

“Oh wow! How cool!” Jennie cut him off. Sam widened his eyes at her. “Oh, sorry. Sorry, Captain. It’s just, well, I mean they’re over there trying to figure out what to do and people are already taking photos.” Jennie jerked a subtly sparkly manicured thumb in the direction of her colleagues. “We don’t have a contingency plan for what to do when Captain America is the one who pulls the sword.” Her cheeks flushed as she looked over Sam’s shoulder and ducked down a little. “Oh my god. Is that Thor? And Bucky B-b-barnes?” Jennie stammered.

“We’re on vacation,” Sam sighed. “Even superheroes need vacations.” 

Jennie blushed. “Oh god, of course! I mean, you’re in the news like every day, and life has to be like, really stressful. My supervisor should be back in a minute.” She rocked from one foot to the other, back and forth, back and forth. 

“Do you want a hug?” Sam cocked his head. Jennie clapped both hands to her mouth and nodded hesitantly. Sam grinned warmly and embraced her. 

Soon, the Medieval shopkeep came over to speak with Sam. “Captain, first of all, thank you for your service. We didn’t know you were going to be visiting us today.” 

_ Like hell you didn’t _ , Sam thought. The same churro vendor cart had been tailing their little pack since breakfast.  _ You don’t have Avengers on your property without some eyes, no matter how many demigods and supersoldiers are in their crew.  _ Sam put his public relations smile back on and made the best of it, reading the manager’s nametag, etched in a Medieval font: Alejandro. 

“Follow me, please, sir? And bring the sword,” Alejandro ordered.

“You’re the boss,” Sam cracked, maintaining his pleasant tone. The sword, for being a prop, was surprisingly heavy. Maybe he was just too acclimated to hefting vibranium around these days.

They reached the golden anvil, where Steve, Bucky, and Thor were still patiently waiting. A few tourists clapped. 

Alejandro whispered to Sam, “We’re still not sure what happened, Captain, but we’ve been advised to treat this as a press opportunity for you and for us.” His tanned, freckled face broke into a huge grin, and he softly patted Sam’s shoulder, “Plus, you get to keep the sword. I hope you’re good at improvisation.” 

“Huh?” Sam barely had time to blurt out before Alejandro did a theatrical spin, extending his hands toward the gathered crowd of onlookers. 

“Most noble citizens!” Alejandro cried with a flourish, doffing his feathered cap. “Salutations on behalf of the Royal Counsel! As you may have just witnessed, this man,” he gestured dramatically at Sam, “whom many subjects of this land know as the Captain America, has unsheathed the worthy sword from its enchanted scabbard.” 

The crowd, including a rapt-looking Thor and the smug duo of Steve and Bucky, began to applaud and shout. 

“A member of the Royal Counsel is on his way to decree the rule of the land in this matter,” declared Alejandro. “He shall be here to meet with the Captain America in exactly twelve minutes! Prepare thy photographical devices.” Attentions were diverted and Alejandro whispered to Sam, “Just sit tight. Merlin is coming. I’ll be hanging around back with your upgrades for the day when the pomp and circumstance is over.”

“Upgrades?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“You won’t be doing any waiting in lines today, Captain. Neither will your friends. How many passes will you need? Also, any dietary restrictions? Avengers under 21?” 

Sam smirked. “Oh, this is gonna be a good day after all.” 

  
  
  


Right on time, twelve minutes later, Merlin arrived to literal fanfare and delighted squeals from the surrounding children. “Yes, yes, hello royal subjects! Erm, it seems a very magical day in the kingdom.” Merlin puttered around the shrubbery, uttered some gibberish words, and a few fireworks shot up into the air to many  _ oohs and aahs _ from the people gathered around.

“It seems the sword has selected a very special king today! Uhm, what is your name, young man?” 

Sam giggled to himself. He’d take being a young man. Why not. “Samuel Thomas Wilson,” he declared with utmost confidence, ready to put on this show so he could finally go ride the Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster. He puffed up his chest a little, just for effect. Sam glanced briefly at Bucky just to catch him rolling his eyes while Steve elbowed him. Thor beamed with pride. 

Merlin stuttered, stumbled, and gasped. “Why, no! Not  _ THE _ Samuel Thomas Wilson.” 

“I am, your, uh, wizardiness.” Sam gave his genuine smart-ass look, not his public persona smile. The crowd laughed anyway.  _ Captain America, he’s just like you civilians. Until he’s not. _

Merlin did a frantic spin which really caught the attention of the little kids around. He took his hat off and put it back on again in a showy display of shock. “Well, we can’t--we can’t just let the Captain of America be the king! He has so much to do! You already have so many citizens to protect!” Merlin milked his panic to the audience’s glee, when Alejandro ran out from behind a bush somewhere and whispered in Merlin’s ear. “Ah, yes, good good!” Merlin declared. “Come over here, Samuel, if you please.” 

Sam, his arm tiring from carrying the sword around, stepped next to Merlin as directed. Merlin reached for Sam’s wrist and led him to raise the sword above his head. They stood together, hands and sword held aloft, and Merlin said, “The Royal Counsel declares and decrees that Samuel Thomas Wilson, the Captain of America, shall be our new King for the Day!” 

The crowd went wild. Every phone was taking a photo or video. Steve had that stupid grin on his face that Sam knew meant he was going to take a ribbing for the rest of the trip. Bucky smirked in his mischievous-but-unreadable way. Thor was down on one knee, paying respects to the new King of Fantasyland. Or was it all of Disneyland? Did that matter? 

“Now, please allow our new Highness to enjoy his rule on this day,” Merlin advised. “This means if you see the Captain with his Round Table or Court,” he gestured to Steve, Bucky, and Thor as a few shocked people could be heard choking on their beverages, “exercise discretion. I’m sure King Samuel, Captain of America, has many important matters to attend to here in his kingdom before he returns to protecting this very country with the valiance and bravery for which he is known.” 

A quiet washed over the crowd. 

“TO KING SAMUEL THOMAS, SON OF WIL!” Thor shouted. The tourists ate it up, hollering and shouting  _ huzzah  _ along with the Asgardian, Bucky, and Steve.

In spite of hiimself, Sam could feel a blush creeping up his face. He posed for a few pictures for the park, the press, and of course, a shot to text to his mom and sister. 

  
  
  


“It is a shame you are only king for this day, Friend Samuel,” Thor nearly pouted. “I feel that many realms would benefit from your might and your charms.” 

The group of Avengers walked toward Space Mountain. Sam stuffed his mouth full of cotton candy and grinned, handing the paper cone back to Steve, whose lips were stained blue and pink from the sugary treat. “Y’know, Steve, I still can’t figure out if he’s serious.” 

Steve handed the cotton candy off to Bucky and bowed. “I think it’s whatever you desire,  _ your grace _ .”

“It’s a shame they didn’t let you carry the sword around all day,” Bucky said, smacking his lips together as he finished off the cotton candy. He tossed the empty cone into a trash can. “You could’ve knighted Steve over by the lake. He’s had a Lancelot fantasy since 1926.” Steve giggles under his breath, but still turns an embarrassed shade of pink.

“Barnes, I don’t need you bringing up your sex life in Disneyland. Please.” 

“Oh, of course,” Bucky sneers and smiles at the same time. It’s harmless. Annoying, but harmless. “Whatever you say,  _ my liege _ .” 

Sam scowled and pointed at Bucky, but avoided the cuss he wanted to yell. If the sun was up at Disneyland, he kept his language squeakier-clean than the public image of Captain Steve Rogers had been. “Look, you gotta serve the king.” 

“Uh-huh. And former Captains still outrank you, Sarge,” Steve chided. “That means we’re gonna sit here for a minute, and you’re going to get us some drinks.” 

Bucky threw his head back melodramatically, then flashed his friends a sparkling smile. He sighed. “Fine, Sirs. What’ll it be?”

“I desire an ale, Friend James.” Thor sat on the park bench as though his legs were tired. He stretched his arms and a couple of moms walking by with strollers nearly collided into each other. Bucky shook his head and sauntered to the churro cart that was still tailing them. 

He returned less than a minute later. “I guess thanks are in order to the King of the Birdbrains. The churro guy wouldn’t take my money, gave me four extra-large drinks, and said, ‘I hope you’re having fun, Mr. Barnes. Let us know if you need anything.’ So,” Bucky poked a straw into his gigantic cup, “I asked if he had any trained snipers here, just in case, and he said he’d  _ see what he could do _ . Who are these people?”

Steve grabbed for a cup. “Cherry Coke?” he asked Bucky, who nodded and smiled. “You didn’t know Clint and Kate and Nat are here too?” 

Bucky nearly did a spit take, but shook it off. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They take this found family stuff real seriously.” He pulled another cup from the holder. “Coca-cola, no ice for my liege, his exellency, the second-best Captain of America.” 

“Thanks. And shut it. You’re enjoying all of these perks because one of you probably dislodged the park’s sword mechanism. Did you know we won’t have to wait in any lines today? And like, I can invoke “royal privileges of goodwill”, whenever I feel like it today, to send families ahead of us?” Sam sipped his soda and entertained the idea of calling Natasha and company to join them for dinner at least. 

“Oh, thank you, little one,” Thor said, accepting his beverage. His massive hands dwarfed the almost outlandishly-sized drink cup. Bucky turned bright red. “A refreshing ale of ginger always restores me!”

Sam just shook his head when he realized Thor was chugging ginger ale more seriously than any Asgardian alcoholic brew. Sam certainly couldn’t account for the ‘little one’ comment, or why Bucky Barnes suddenly looked more flustered than the Cast Member he’d hugged earlier. 

He didn’t want to know. It wasn’t any of his business. He was going to retire to his private “King Suite” sometime that night and bask in the glow of his new, fake sword, perched beside his personal mouse-ears Jacuzzi tub, or whatever they kept around here. 

Being Captain America was awesome, wonderful, an honor, as fulfilling a role as he could ever imagine, but Sam never expected that for a few precious hours, being the King of the Magical Mouse Realm or wherever would actually be a pretty great job. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The "little one" thing refers back to [this art by em_dibujsb on Twitter](https://twitter.com/em_dibujsb/status/1213536201501761542%22), which I adore. Why not throw in a little wholesome crush-y admiration? 
> 
> Speaking of Twitter, you'll find me there as @DottieAppleSez. I hope y'all had fun reading!
> 
> xoxo,   
> Dottie


End file.
